Welcome to the CMBB

Thank you for stopping and visiting my blog. This is my first blog so we will see how it goes. I wanted to start with some prefaces. I thought this might help shed some light on where I have been, what I am doing, and we will see together where I will go.

So about me. If you couldn't tell by the title, I am a Christian and also manic/bipolar. You may not understand why I describe myself in that way, but hopefully through this blog you will have a better understanding of what it is like. I am 37 years old. I was born, raised, and reside in Idaho. I grew up on a small farm and I use the term "farm" loosely. We had some horses and cows. We grew grass and alfalfa. We also farmed other land as well. I graduated high school in 1998. I attended two semesters at BSU, but decided the college life wasn't for me. I have been married twice. The second marriage to my current amazing wife. She has stuck by me through all of it. I have put this woman through hell, but she still has a smile for me. I have three, also amazing, kids. Two are in middle school and one thinks he is, even though he is 3. I have owned a couple businesses, and closed a couple businesses. Reflecting on my life it has a broad spectrum of experiences, some good, some bad, but I do know I look forward to the rest of my days with a new perspective and outlook on life. Enough about me. Here is what this blog is all about....


I want this blog to be honest. I want this to be an open book to my life, feelings, challenges, etc...I will try to make this a blog about my everyday life. Somethings you will like, others will bore you. Lol. I will share stories or information you may not have know. With that said, there are some inner details that should not be shared. So please understand I am not hiding anything, but not all the details need to be said.

I have made many poor decisions, made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people, and disappointed myself a lot. I also feel I have done a lot of good, helped a lot people, have had a positive impact in the world, and have a few shining moments I am proud of. I found God in August of 2015. It has been a long road to try and understand my relationship with God. I won't lie, being bipolar makes it challenging at times to know what YOU are hearing, and what GOD is telling you. I have found that the more I pray, read devotionals, and read my bible, the more at peace I seem to be. Now if I can just remember to do all of those.

So here is where that honesty part comes in. I have cheated in both of my marriages, I have lied to my spouse, family, friends. I have fought and argued so much that people gave up reasoning with me. I have been rude. I have yelled at people. I have intentionally broken things.  I have at times turned by back to world. I have allowed addictions (not drug or alcohol) to take a hold of my life. Sometimes this would last for weeks or even months. I have wasted so much time and energy on material items that have zero meaning. So I guess what I am trying to say is in reflection I have been a real jerk who's decisions have affected a lot of people in a very negative way.

So why write and share this? Well for a couple reasons (some selfish):

1. To help myself cope and become a better person
2. To hold myself accountable
3. So my wife and lovely bride can be proud of the man she married and stuck with all these years
4. To hopefully help someone else realize that maybe they are having the same issues I was/am having and make changes in their life
5. So my children some day can see that their father messed up a lot, and hopefully they can learn by mistakes, but also that he loves them unconditionally
6. So a label of being Manic/Bipolar does not define who I am, but allow people to see how I am 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, and thank you for taking the time to follow along the journey. I can't say how often I will post, or if any of it will be worth reading for that matter. 😊 But truly I thank you for all the support, feedback (negative or positive) and for sharing this blog with anyone you think could benefit from it. I will leave you with this Bible verse.


Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT